Feb 052014

Bored with “normal” self-esteem quotes? Try these instead, they’ll really make your day!

1. “All Beyonce and J-Lo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful. Now every girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits.

The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage out athletes.” – Tina Fey

2. “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid.” – Albert Einstein

3. “I’m Dylan. I’m so cool. I want to date myself, but I don’t know how! You want to date me instead? You’re so lucky!” – Rick Riordan

4. “When you’re truly awesome, you know that it’s actually a burden and wish day after day to be relieved of such a curse. Think of about 95% of the superheroes.” – Criss Jami

5. “I used to be self conscious about my height, but then I thought, fuck that, I’m Harry Potter!” – Daniel Radcliffe

6. “Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-break on.” – Maxwell Maltz

7. “If you want me, you’ll have to earn me. And, mister, I don’t come cheap.” – Susan Elizabeth Phillips

8. “The idea of a belt holding my pants up seems so 20th century. Imagine a world where your pants are held high by your self-esteem. But it’s a silly notion, really, because in a world such as that, nobody would even wear pants.
” – Jarod Kintz

9. “If you truly feel that self esteem and motivation have to happen first before you can make changes in your life then we’ll probably be sharing walkers at a retirement home as we talk over what might have been.” – Shannon L. Alder

10. “Clones fit in. Freaks stand out. Ask me which one I prefer.” – Joanne Harris

11. “The different people are not like other people, but being different is nothing to be ashamed of. Because other people are not such wonderful people. They’re one hundred times one thousand. You’re one times one! They walk all over the earth. You just stay here.” – Tennessee Williams

12. “I don’t know why, but people seem to be fascinated to learn how some members of society fall through the cracks. I think it’s partly that feeling that… it could happen to anyone. But I think it also makes people feel better about their own lives. It makes them think, ‘Well, I may think my life is bad, but it could be worse, I could be that poor sod.” – James Bowen

13. “Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken.”

14. “The best thing to learn from any government is that it does not get affected by what other people talk or think about it.” – Amit Kalantri

15. “Having the courage to stand up for yourself is like bringing swords to a stick fight.” – Kyle Schmalenberg

16. “If everybody likes you, you are doing it wrong.”

17. “You can’t compare an apple to an orange. It will cause a lot of self-esteem issues.” – Craig Sheffer

18. “A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.”- David Brinkley

19. “We are all worms, but I do believe I am a glowworm.” – Winston Churchill

20. “Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic.”

21. “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

What’s your favorite? Share in the comments!

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